MY JOURNEY

A FUNNY but real look at the world and the reason this book came into existence.

The moment you use the done-to-death words, “Personality Development,” a few lines instantly come to mind:

• “Think Positive”
• “Nothing is Impossible”
• “Be a Leader”
• “Be Confident”

I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP EVERY TIME I HEAR THESE WORDS…!

This book is an act of rebellion against the bullshit being dished out to innocent minds in the name of “Personality Development.”

The seeds of this book were sown 20 years ago when I was a nervous, fat teenager in North India, being bullied by classmates and made fun of by almost everyone. I hated the world and…I wanted somebody to guide me, tell me what to do, tell me how to think, tell me how to develop my personality.

I searched a lot, studied every book that had something to do with “personality development” and “Self-Help,” and God knows I needed a lot of help.
I was fat, confused, and under-confident. (Thanks to whatever I’ve learned in the last 20 years, I’m much more sure of myself, and yes, I’m one of the most confident big men you’ll ever meet… yes, some part of the fat has stayed till now… there’s a reason I’m not writing a book on health.)

I was seeking parental approval at any cost, and yes, the all-consuming “How will I become successful (read: rich)” question.
I was the epitome of a “well-behaved Indian middle-class kid with a strict value-based upbringing”… and I hated it. I wanted to change and become confident, successful, slim, etc., etc.

Below were my sources of seeking guidance:

The Positive Bullshit:
I tried all kinds of “Positive Thinking,” “Positive Imag……ining” positive this and positive that.
Every positive bullshit you can imagine, I was positively into it. I was so desperate that I would have tried to become HIV Positive if that would have helped (kidding… and yes, it doesn’t help). I must have read thousands of pages on “Positive Bullshit.” But I still felt like a sad, fat, lost, negative loser.

Religious Gurus:
Listened to every Baba Ji coming on TV and giving gyaan on why you shouldn’t apply oil on a Thursday, how Lord Rama listened to his father and left everything, and how today’s generation is a bunch of buffoons. They’d talk about how using cow dung, a lady could give birth to a child, and how using cow urine one can become intelligent and brave—things like that. Needless to say, the “cow dung” Babas were mostly bullshitting (if gender makes any difference in this case).

Self Help Books:
Looking for that elusive “Key to happiness” and “Key to success,” I read every self-development author. Most advised dressing well, getting up early, eating lots of fruits and vegetables, and most importantly: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF YOU WORK…

HARD ENOUGH.
These books were telling me that in order to succeed, I have to work hard and be good at everything and become a leader of people (everyone wants to become a leader… who the hell is going to follow?”). These books would churn out absurd facts like I have a trillion cells in my brain, but I wasn’t able to use them, and I should get up early in order to become a genius, along with other such things.
But let me tell you, they DID NOT HELP…!

The one I read a lot and the one book I really hate today is “How To Win Friends And Influence People”. I have a lot of respect for Dale Carnegie and his books on presentation and worry (which are worth reading), but in my view, this one book should be banned in India.

The Great Dead:
Indian kids are always encouraged to be someone else: be a Rama, Buddha, Gandhi, Gates, or the third cousin of your father who is a rotten bureaucrat in some godforsaken government office.
…Be someone else but don’t be yourself. Slowly, gradually, moving around the mazes of society and parental dominance, we’re told to try to follow the footsteps of every great man ever born (from Jesus to Gandhi and Napoleon to…).

Worship and God:
Yes, when all else fails, you turn to God. I’d study religious books, do aarties and Pooja daily, but there was no peace of mind and no success.
The real religion is natural and spiritual.

We have taken the spirit of the spirit-ritual… we are stuck with rituals… just plain empty rituals.
(Even today, I know of a few young men who go to a temple daily and ensure that God remains happy with them, hence they guard their semen.)
Many others confided in me that they had solid guilt even if they had a lewd thought, believing they had offended God, and that’s why they couldn’t score well in their exams. Thanks to the religious sermons by semi-literate priests, and the crowd of old women who listen to all this nonsense and shove it down the throats of innocent children.

The “Rich and Successful” Relatives:
Remember the hated dialogue that makes you go bonkers every time your mother says it in front of that idiotic and arrogant-looking fool of a relative:
“Inse khuch seekho (Learn something from him).”

“Thing from him)” and he dumps the heaps of bullshit on you… yes, I’ve had it, by the tons… phew… Indian moms.

By sheer luck, I ended up in a hotel job and suddenly found myself thrown into the real world. The shy teen was an 18-year-old hotel receptionist at a luxury hotel. There, I got the first-hand experience of dealing with the real rich and powerful (big business owners, politicians, and CXOs of big organizations), and the real poor and hardcore (Hotel Staff). And the journey began.
This led to a 180-degree paradigm shift in my view of people, society, and the world.

I traveled through mazes of tough jobs, overtimes, night shifts, MBA, and multiple jobs together in order to feed the family. Heartbreaks, bank recoveries, fights, failed romances, emotional blackmail, arranged marriage, confusion, and depression… and finally, redemption.

The aim of this website is to share what I have learned through tough experiences and present it in an easy manner. In fact, putting it simply, I want to share all that I wish I knew earlier so that you don’t have to go through all that.

LOVE,

GVK